


sub rosa (under the rose)

by mellowie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: "to hear him speak of desire", Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, Gifts, Gods, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mutual Pining, References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore, Romantic Tension, Roses, Secrets, Silences, Yearning, and featuring Doyoung as Harpocrates, childhood meeting, featuring Jaehyun as Eros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29735364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mellowie/pseuds/mellowie
Summary: Jaehyun, the God of Love, receives a rose from his mother, Aphrodite. In turn, he gives the rose to Doyoung, the God of Silence.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 7
Kudos: 57
Collections: Challenge #5 — I heard a secret..





	sub rosa (under the rose)

**Author's Note:**

> “Sub rosa (New Latin for “under the rose”) denotes confidentiality, and derives from the ancient history of the rose as a symbol of secrecy.”
> 
> The Greek Goddess, Aphrodite, gave a rose to her son, Eros, the god of love; he, in turn, gave it to Harpocrates, the god of silence, to ensure that his mother’s indiscretions (or those of the gods in general, in other accounts) were kept under wraps.”
> 
> [sub rosa](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sub_rosa)

Jaehyun leaned his body against the branch of a pomegranate tree, fanning himself with a leaf against the brilliant sun, the same golden sheen that decorated the wreath around his head. The white wings that stretched from his back folded onto themselves with ease. In his hand with the leaf, an arrow was tucked snugly between his ring finger and pinky, and in his other hand, twirled a rose.

The rose was, by all means in the eyes of a god, beautiful. Ethereal and ephemeral, it was gifted to him earlier that morning, passed through the hands of his mother, the goddess Aphrodite. For a rose to be born of the divine, its delicacy was unmatched. At the mere touch of the light, the flower felt almost ready to deliquesce in his hand, fading into air and returning to the heavens where it came from. Surely his mother had meant it as a generous, familial reward. For her beloved son, Jaehyun, had earnestly abided by her every order and gladly loosened his blunt-tipped arrow at any mortal or god she pointed to.

But Jaehyun pursed his lips. When he thought about how many of such roses his mother must have given to her various lovers behind the curtains, most particularly that war god Ares, the cumbersome sigh he had kept caged all this while expelled from his lungs.

No, he did not blame his mother for her illicit affairs and unchecked seductions (after all, it seemed to be inherent). He was worried for her safety. If Hephaestus, her husband whom she did not favour, were to find out, there was no telling of the vengeance that would befall upon her. As much as the rose was an expression of love, it was now a prophecy of doom.

“A frown doesn’t fit that pretty face of yours, our dear God of Love.”

Jaehyun didn’t bother perking his head to see who was speaking. He knew from the voice’s playful tone that the god Hermes, or otherwise known as Johnny, had sped to a brisk stop under the pomegranate tree and was looking up at him with a grin.

“I was just musing about how the gods should do a better job of keeping their secrets,” Jaehyun said airily from above, more to himself than his friend.

“Oh, I know what you mean,” Johnny nodded in sympathy. “Like how I’ve been hearing through the grapevine about Poseidon. Did you know? He has been caught frolicking with the mortal priestesses in Athena’s temple.”

“Well, I don’t fault him for that,” Jaehyun said, aptly recalling the lovely faces of the maidens. “Does Athena know?”

“Surely not. There will be hell unleashed upon him if she does,” Johnny said with a shrug. “You know how Athena can be when she’s mad.”

To that, Jaehyun gave a knowing smile. Then, as if drifting back into thought, he gazed towards the vast horizon, distractedly fanning the leaf. The rose remained curled in place between his fingers.

“Speaking of affairs,” Johnny continued. “I heard you had a recent fling with a mortal girl on Earth. What was her name again?” he paused to rock his head. “...Psyche, was it?”

“ _What?_ ”

Jaehyun shot up faster than a bolt of Zeus’s lightning. The arrow slipped from his grasp and Johnny nimbly dodged it as it hit the ground with a thud. Ears burning red, Jaehyun leaned forward from the branch, fist clenched onto the rose, demanding to know: “Who told you?”

“I can’t quite recall,” Johnny arched an amused eyebrow at the other god’s heated reaction. “I’d assumed it was gossip that the mortals made up for entertainment, though you’ve clearly proven me wrong.” He placed his hands on his hips. “Really, Jaehyun? I’m well familiar with your promiscuous nature, but to defy your mother’s wishes of having Psyche punished...”

“It was nothing but the heat of the moment,” Jaehyun spoke sharply, his voice cooled in defense, even though his throat felt squeezed. He reassured himself that if it was mere gossip among mortals, then it shouldn’t have reached the gods so soon. His mother couldn’t have known, not when she had given him the rose. But if she were to find out…

Jaehyun dug his fingers into his skin. He hated to let her down.

“If only there was a way to hide these secrets,” he mumbled under his breath. “Or perchance there was someone who was capable of helping...”

A pricking sensation stopped him short. He glanced down to discover he had gripped the rose too tightly, and felt the sting of its thorns. Delicate, unassuming, yet powerful. As he unfolded the rose in his hand, what he didn’t realize was that the answer had laid before his eyes all this time. He finally knew what the rose reminded him of.

Or rather, who the rose reminded him of.

“Do you know where to find Harpocrates?” asked Jaehyun, brightening with hope.

“Oh, Doyoung? You can usually find him at the break of dawn, during hours of solitude,” Johnny replied. He did not prompt for the reason, as if he had an inkling of Jaehyun’s intentions.

“Much appreciated,” Jaehyun smiled. He shifted the quiver of arrows to his hip and tucked the rose onto his left breast. Spreading his wings apart, he perched on the branch, ready to depart into the azure sky. He simply wasn’t the type to wait.

Though, at the last second, something occurred to him, making him pause and turn back towards Johnny.

“…You call him Doyoung?”

Jaehyun didn’t expect Johnny to utter the God of Silence’s mortal name so casually. For a god to put aside their bestowed title, to call another by their mortal name, was an act of great intimacy, reserved for a close companion, a family member, or a lover.

“Sometimes. We happen to get along well, the two of us,” Johnny said, smirking. “Why, is the God of Love jealous for once?”

“No,” Jaehyun huffed as he swept his hair back from his forehead. “I’ll have you know I don’t do jealousy.”

As though in an effort to affirm that sentiment, he lifted his gleaming wings in the sunlight and, in one grand swoop, took off into the skyline and didn’t look back.

❁ ❀ ✿ ❀ ❁

The God of Silence. Harpocrates. Doyoung.

Jaehyun ran the names over in his mind, letting their sounds and rhythms sink in. He had met the god once, a long time ago when the dawn broke and the sun rose to its first yawn. He had witnessed how the young god emerged from the light, his glittering head coming up to drink the dewy air, petite lips painted in the shade of a rose. Jaehyun had never seen a view quite so stunning.

And then the god met Jaehyun’s enthralled gaze. Jaehyun offered a smile and a friendly wave. “Hello”, he said. The god stared at him. Jaehyun said something more. Then, all of a sudden, the god placed a finger to his lips. 

Silence.

Jaehyun watched him turn to face the light and, without a word, the god walked away until he was gone.

“Why doesn’t Harpocrates speak?” Jaehyun asked his mother later that day.

“So he could look after your secrets,” came Aphrodite’s answer.

“Is it by his choice?"

“It is but the ways of the gods, my dear."

Jaehyun never mentioned him again.

But in truth, he had wondered about Doyoung day and night, the sunlit scene lingering in the depths of his memory like a sweet-smelling incense. Oh, how time waltzed by the two gods ever since, more different than alike, the two capers of youth. It dawned on Jaehyun now that he had never heard Doyoung’s voice. He thought his curiosity would be fulfilled when he caught a glimpse of the god heading towards an olive grove at the crack of dawn.

 _Where was he going?_ Jaehyun wondered. He trailed the god from a careful distance, rehearsing his entrance speech and, of course, combing his slick hair. It has been a long time since they met after all. Still, he couldn’t help but notice. Had Doyoung’s shoulders looked this broad from behind? Jaehyun unwittingly gulped, not knowing what to feel about such particular changes.

Why was he so nervous? It was only Doyoung. They had barely traded a word in their first encounter, only the quiet exchange of gazes that clung onto Jaehyun to this day...

And that was when the gaiety of children’s laughter halted him in his tracks.

Peeking through a juniper bush, Jaehyun recognised two mortal children from the nearby village who were crowding around Doyoung. Despite their size, the children were brimming with excitement and all too eager to play with anything that caught their fancy. Jaehyun had a difficult time keeping them away from his arrows that one time. If he thought hard enough, he could vaguely recall their names as Jeno and Renjun.

“Doyoung, I made this for you,” Jeno, the smaller one, was saying with twinkling eyes. “Will you wear it?”

“Look, Doyoung already has a crown on his head,” Renjun, the bookish one, kept insisting. “He can’t wear your wreath, Jeno.”

Indeed, a brilliant diadem curved itself around Doyoung’s head with a lotus bud on each side. There did not seem to be space for the thick flower wreath in Jeno’s tiny hands. But just when Jeno began to pout, Doyoung, who was kneeling down before them, tilted his head forward for the diadem slid off into his hands. Jeno jumped for joy and Renjun had to contain him so they could fit the wreath around Doyoung’s forehead.

“I knew it! It looks good on you!” Jeno cheered. Renjun wore an expression of surprise, and then of a sulk, as though he wished he had crafted a wreath of his own as well. Doyoung smiled as he ruffled Renjun’s hair, soothing him gently. Jaehyun had never seen Doyoung smile so softly like that before. He had never seen Doyoung smile at all, and his heartstrings felt akin to the tug of his own bow when he pulled to strike at the unfortunate.

As Jaehyun continued watching in the bushes, keeping as still as possible, he began to learn what drew the children to Doyoung. Renjun and Jeno were both energetic and chatty in their own ways. Doyoung didn’t need to say much, only nod and smile along with their whims. In fact, it seemed that all the children needed was someone who would listen.

“Bye, Doyoung! Let’s play together again!” Jeno beamed as he waved animatedly from the path towards the village. Renjun appeared reluctant to leave, but he put on a strong front and followed Jeno in waving goodbye. Doyoung bade them farewell, the tenderness never leaving his countenance. Jaehyun softened at discovering this side of Doyoung. Perhaps the God of Silence wasn’t as distant as he thought.

And then, when the children were out of sight among the trees, Doyoung turned around and directly locked with Jaehyun's eyes, his smile dropping in a heartbeat.

Not the slightest hint of puzzlement showed on the god’s visage. Doyoung’s gaze was pointed, his look less of a “ _How long have you been there?_ ”, more of a “ _Are you done?_ ”

Planting his feet firmly on the earth, Doyoung turned and walked the opposite path without heed. The silver amulet rocked against his chest with each step. Yet again, he was leaving without a word. Yet again, Jaehyun saw up close how broad his shoulders had become.

Silence.

“Wait a moment, I-”

Jaehyun stumbled out of the bushes in a frenzy to catch up with Doyoung. 

“I didn’t mean to spy,” he said, trying to both explain himself and not stammer. “You see, I was passing by when I happened to come across you and the mortal children…”

Doyoung did not stop for him. Jaehyun tried again, this time with confidence, no matter how much he had to bluff.

“I suppose you may not remember who I am, but I’m certain you would have at least heard of me. I mean, who wouldn’t? The Earth and the heavens quiver at the sight of my arrows, and I’m known to be irresistible if I do say so myself.”

His words were true, a notion he had known in all his years of immortality. What Jaehyun wanted to happen, happened. No hearts could escape or deny the sweet temptations of the God of Love himself. 

“Hubris will be your downfall if you’re not careful, Eros,” Doyoung said. The god finally broke his silence, and it felt shattering to Jaehyun’s ears.

He had imagined Doyoung’s voice with a sleepy undertone, like how one might sound when they were not used to speech. But despite his sparse words, Doyoung’s voice was light and silvery, each word deliberate and clear, making the God of Love long for more.

“You can call me Jaehyun, you know.” His eyes tried to stray from the patch of skin peeking out from the chiton on Doyoung’s chest.

“...What are you here for?” Doyoung spoke as if Jaehyun hadn't made the comment. Jaehyun took the chance to brush the hair from his eyes in a smooth motion as he had practiced.

“It's simple. I’m here for a favour,” Jaehyun said, dripping his voice with honey. “You must have heard the rumours of the gods, including those of mine. I need you to look over those loose tongues and keep those secrets from spilling.”

“I have no care for the affairs of the gods,” said Doyoung. The god carried on walking, looking straight ahead of him, as if Jaehyun's request was nothing new. He gave no regards to the beguiling charms of Jaehyun, despite having it worked extraordinarily well on mortals and gods alike. Or so Jaehyun thought.

And now he felt like his tongue was tied in knots.

“Doyoung,” Jaehyun worked to speak his name, an ounce of desperation breaking through the honey and threatening to pour out. “Will you talk to me…?”

It was more than a want of attention. It was out of something much deeper. Spurred by habit, Jaehyun reached out his hand, brushing against Doyoung’s fingers. Like a shock, Doyoung recoiled at once. Jaehyun blinked in surprise, suddenly conscious of their contact.

He didn’t think anyone would react that way towards him. He certainly wasn’t one to incite fear, unlike Taeyong, ruler of the Underworld, who brought with him the promise of death. But if Jaehyun was known to possess the touch of gold, then why did Doyoung shrink away from him as though he had touched fire?

“Forgive me for startling you,” Jaehyun's voice was heavy with remorse. “I will be more careful next time.”

“It’s not your fault,” Doyoung shook his head. The nervousness that flashed across his eyes was momentary, for he glanced away, which Jaehyun surmised was an attempt to avoid his gaze.

“No, I am to blame,” Jaehyun sighed. “Here I am, frivolously imposing my wishes onto you without considering how you might feel. You must think I’m terrible.”

"I don't,” Doyoung said. Somehow, it made Jaehyun’s heart quicken a beat.

He saw how Doyoung fidgeted with his hand where they had brushed, that delicate frame of his staggering to harbour secrets far beyond any god's imagination. Jaehyun felt a spark of protectiveness within his chest.

“Listen, forget what I said. It shouldn’t be your duty to hold anyone’s secrets aside from your own. To ask for a favour without anything in return was selfish... I apologise.”

Doyoung stared at the flowers around them swaying in the breeze. He was quiet, but it was a pensive kind of quiet.

“I wish to make it up to you,” Jaehyun said. He unclasped the flower from his left breast and, voice softening, extended it to Doyoung. “Will you take this rose?”

The god’s eyes widened. “I… I can’t accept that. It's too beautiful.”

“Really? I think it fits you perfectly well.”

Jaehyun stroked a lock of hair behind Doyoung's ear, tucking in the rose whose petals blended with the harmony of colours from the flowers on the wreath. 

“You’re beautiful, Doyoung.”

Jaehyun marveled at the way the god's name rolled off his tongue now, easy. Meanwhile, Doyoung’s cheeks were flushed a bright scarlet, an endearing sight which he adored.

“You should know what it means to give someone a rose,” Doyoung said.

“Oh, I do,” Jaehyun smiled. “And you should be given roses more, though none of them can clearly rival your charm.”

“I bet you say that to every mortal girl you meet,” Doyoung replied, hardly flattered.

“You mean… Wait, you knew about that?" Jaehyun gasped. "But how... Don't tell me... Was that why you were mad at me earlier?”

Doyoung looked away just as Jaehyun burst out laughing with relief. “I wasn’t upset.”

“Oh, trust me when I say I have not gone back to that girl since,” Jaehyun laughed so hard he had to wipe away a tear. “Not when I have you here with me. Believe it or not... you've always been on my mind.”

Jaehyun allowed himself to be truthful to someone for the first time in his life. Love. He came close to knowing its true taste when he fell into Doyoung’s eyes that were drawn from the stars.

He wanted to be the one who knew how to make the God of Silence’s heart sing. To hear him say his name with pleasure. To hear him speak of unbridled desires. Jaehyun leaned close with bated breath, lingering on Doyoung’s soft-spoken lips. The pair stared at each other in this way for a while, unwavering, waiting for the other to speak.

“Will you keep this a secret if it’s between us?” Jaehyun whispered so softly it tickled the god’s ear. A glint of light flickered in his eyes. Doyoung smiled as he reached out to press a finger to the God of Love's lips, and held it there.

“I will, Jaehyun.”

❁ ❀ ✿ ❀ ❁

**Author's Note:**

> i'm posting this after a late family dinner with less than 10% phone battery pls let this work 😭😭 (will add more tags when i get home!)
> 
> edit: made it home with 1% battery life! this is the closest i've cut to an alw deadline whew 👼
> 
> so once i knew of the theme of secrets, i was reminded of the myth behind sub rosa! Eros's rose to Harpocrates can't be straight... i ain't believing it
> 
> (also, my first dojae work!! somehow it feels like dojae awakened something in me...)


End file.
